[spam][crazy][fiction][random] Non-Canon MCBoss Spinoffs

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

you are the goblin

a fat person who moves very jerkily is trying to give you a deadly
performance review, but seems only able to do it through an ai
pretending to be a roleplaying game

you are engaged in formal roleplaying game combat with him, after he
interrupted you while you were studying a map to a kidnapped wizard
helping you unearth some buried dragon treasure

> cast “marketing psychobabble” at boss