[spam][crazy][spam] imaginary code resembling trained dissociation

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

sometimes when i’m trying really hard to use part of my brain i write
little smidges of code similar to my brain issue. it’s honestly nice
to just use my faculties in any way at all at those times.

this often looks like two object classes with method names that talk
about or simplistically roleplay one attacking or stopping the other.

i was thinking recently of q viewpoint around that near learning and
skill, and the idea that systems that adapt or pursue goals have
“sweet spots” of adaptation. i could see myself as avoiding these
areas of effective behavior and learning, instead engaging the
ineffective ones. other parts too …. i don’t remember well … anyway i
experience these things for years, and one of the things going on is
my brain is always modeling optimal skill improvement by focusing on
the areas that avoid this most strongly.