[spam][crazy][fiction][random] Non-Canon MCBoss Spinoffs

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

traffick boss glares at an innocent badger

traffick boss [eyes glaringly wide, veins throbbing, hands pressed
against the edge of a glass display case as if to break it]: "YOU
don't know the muffin man."

traffick boss disgorges a cigar from his throat and spits mucous
through the center of it, which splats onto the side of the display
case

traffick boss: "_I_ know the muffin man."

traffick boss: "I'll have you know, I chased that muffin man through
my weapons factory for days."

traffick boss pauses and raises his hand with a finger raised,
clenching his legs into a bold and dramatic and heavily forced pose,
presenting his other fist

traffick boss: "I tackled that muffin man,"

traffick boss reposes

trafick boss: "and I tortured him, and tortured --