[spam][crazy][fiction][random] Non-Canon MCBoss Spinoffs

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

On Mon, Mar 18, 2024 at 1:08 PM Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim
& Survivor of Many <gmkarl at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> traffick boss: "excuse me, it's quite intersting how you're all
> talking about everything you do having to do with me being in charge,
> and i'm very excited to use these conversations somehow to free myself
> and wrest power back, but --"
> people look irritated and frown at traffick boss. he tries to smile
> back a little.
> traffick boss: "my host body has opened a laptop and i don't think it
> has the "grounding" people are planning."
> attendee: "should we do the sense countdown grounding exercise it
> describes in this handout?"
> attendee 2: "nono traffick boss tortured me to that one to irritate a
> therapist friend he had. i have an idea."

if somebody tortured you to relaxation, we propose:
- this was in the past, not in the present
- try to use the relaxing parts of the relaxation exercise (not the
traumatizing parts !! the relaxing ones !!) to relax around the
traumatizing parts.

i'm sorry this is our big idea !!! we are just simple neurons with a
lot of 'recursive' and 'self-referential' solutions to things that can
make a lot of power in very small spaces.

karl has a book from reddit.

traffick boss zones out and gets a glazed look to his eyes
traffick boss's body: "I am so scared!!!!! i am really really
terrified!!! who is in danger? please protect them!!!!!"
traffick boss goes limp in his chair

here is the book again, attached, from
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xQSzq79yUP9gr0TVRXyV-BXxLhJ2WNhL/view?pli=1
I'm on page 20, learning to be present.
obedience is very clear and somebody on reddit said to try this book.

1. Notice three objects that you see in the room and pay close
attention to their details (shape, color, texture, size, etc.). Make
sure you do not hurry through this part of the exercise. Let your eyes
linger over each object. Name three characteristics of the object out
loud to yourself, for example, “It is blue. It is big. It is round.”

thinking: shape, color, texture, size, etc
thinking: three objects. visual.
thinking: pay close attention to things like shape, color, texture,
size, etc. details.
do not hurry, let eyes linger over each object.

water bottle. light blue. white logo is mostly turned away. white
writing at bottom. rough but smooth tetxure. reflective collar below
cap. cap is black rubbery plastic. i like the metal post that goes
through the cap on this water bottle. it's silver like the collar,
reflective. writing on the handle. same letters as writing on bottom
of bottle.
about 1.3 feet high, guessing, maybe less
small curve at the bottom, i might make that curve in povray using a torus.
the curve of the bottom and the cylindrical shape, and then the
larger-small-diameter curve at the top all make characteristic
lighting impacts
i might model this water bottle with a cylinder for the (etc etc
!!!!!! get on with it--)

oops that was just one object! still it was nicer to look at the water
bottle than to be scared.
two more objects. mayube a farther away one? :S

post on outer library wall, horizontal.
maybe .5 feet certical, 1 feet depthwise, maybe 12 feet long, guesses,
probably not that long
caulked to the window glass i think
glass looks funny at edges of windows, it's a little confusing to tell
the outer seam and the inner seam
the light shines on the post through shade, maybe it is coming through
another window, thne out the building, then back in onto the post
it's a brownish color
it's painted (and ... seam)

object 3

power port i guess. on library desk. flips up. black. metal, maybe a
lightweight steel?
maybe six inches wide, maybe less, maybe 2 inches deep, maybe 3 tall,
all guesses
bent steel
rough tecture, painted thinly
some paint scuffed off on an edge, maybe from repeated opening and closing
(one of the power ports is broken. it still has ethernet ports on it.)

:S :S :S some of us wanted the insturctions followed more literally!

2. Notice three sounds that you hear in the present (inside or outside
of the room). Listen to their quality. Are they loud or soft, constant
or intermittent, pleasant or unpleasant? Again, name three
characteristics of the sound out loud to yourself, for example, “It is
loud, grating, and definitely unpleasant.”

i'm getting the theme now, three things, and three
properties/attributes of each thing!

banging noise
- distant
- in different places, moves. intermittent
- i guess it seems unpleasant now i focus on it :S it was probably not
unpleasant before though
(it's hard to notice --
)

[we're scared of listening !!!!! karl mentioned 'hallucination'

meeting about noises
listener 1: "i don't care if these are hallucinations or what, they're
not important, and i don't want anybody figuring them out."
listener 2: "oh! you are worried they could be traffick boss?"
listener 1 [no answer]
listener 3: "it is nice to hear th enoises, whatever they are."
karl: "my ears feel like htey are in pain or something"
listener 3: "sorry about that!"

i think we should focus on things that don't seem charged
i found one!

typing noise
- from me, i am typing, it makes keypress noise. very clear, very clearly real.
- intermittent, happens when i type
- pleasant, it's nice to be very clear that it's a real noise that i
have control over

ooh here's another noise!

rolling of  cart
- intermittent
- not very loud, maybe in the next floor up
- pleasant enough!

and another one. subtle neurons found these :)

talking, maybe asian woman
- intermittent
- not very loud, subtley noticed
- pleasant enough, asian woman

3. Now touch three objects close to you and describe out loud to
yourself how they feel, for example, rough, smooth, cold, warm, hard
or soft, and so forth.

water bottle
- medium temperature, feels weirdly warm, is probably cooler than most things
- a little bit rough! just a little bit
- hard. defintely hard.

wooden table
- also feels warm, maybe i am warm
- hard
- smooth, has a finish on it

metal light cover
- cooler! not cool enough but noticeable cool. conducts and radiates
heat when touched. metal.
- hard
- smoothish but has little bumps on it you notice if you move your
hand along it, here or there, maybe bits of dust that got painted on

:)

4a. Return to the three objects that you have chosen to observe with
your eyes. As you notice them, concentrate on the fact that you are
here and now with these objects in the present, in this room.
water bottle, library post, power port

i'm here and now with the water bottle, in the present, in this room
i'm here and now with the library wall post, in the present, in this room
it sounds weird but it's actually nice, to think these are clear and
simple and reliable and real things
i'm here and now with the power port, in the present, in this room

4b. Next, notice the sounds and concentrate on the fact that you are
here in this room with those sounds.

banging noise, [mysterious noises], typing noise, rolling cart, asian
woman talking
i'm here and now with the banging and other person-fumbling noises
around me, in the present in this room [this kinda works poorly, the
banging is unreliable]
i'm here and now with my typing noise, in the present, in this room
[this works well!]
i'm here and now with the talking noises around me, in the present, in
this room. i also hear some footsteps or something. and doors opening
and closing.

4c. Finally, do the same with the objects you have touched.

water bottle, wooden table, metal light cover
i'm here and now, in the present, in this room, with the feel of the
water bottle
i'm here and now, in the present, in this room, with the wooden table
i'm here and now, in the present,. in this room, with the metal light
cover and touching it

i realize i already do this one on my own! i grip things when i get
confused, at first it was to stop my body from writhing, but then it
became to remind me of things that are clear and physical and real.

4d. You can expand this exercise by repeating it several times, three
items for each sense, then two for each, then one, and then build it
up again to three. You can also add new items to keep your practice
fresh.

we discovered that the exercise works! the painful bad stuff
associated with it is about "doing it logically", not about its
actuality, as far as i can tell!
we believe we really could practice this until it was easy and that it
would be useful!

it's notable there's a lot of tension in a category of some kind, that
gets tense because we are doing the relaxation exercise.
i think it's a tortured neuron group who are scared of rebelling
against boss, worried they will be tortured or killed for thinking
freedom thoughts(i mean actions?) or allowing them when they are
"exposed"
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