[spam][crazy][fiction][random] Non-Canon MCBoss Spinoffs

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

this is a chess game where i won against someone of much higher rating than
me:

[Site "https://chess.org/play/cf645a4f-4446-4a83-b2fd-919727966f32"] [Event
"Chess"]
[Variant "Standard"]
[Round "1"]
[Date "2023.12.11"]
[TimeControl "2m +2s"]
[White "RaZacek"]
[Black "baffo32_lo"]
[WhiteElo "1686"]
[BlackElo "1370"]
[Result "0-1"]

1. d4 e5 2. dxe5 d6 3. exd6 Bxd6 4. Nf3 Nc6 5. Nc3 Bf5 6. e4 Qe7 7. Bd3 Nb4
8. O-O Bg4 9. Be2 Qe6 10. a3 O-O-O 11. Qe1 Nxc2 0-1

chess is now a scarred mental battlefield for me. i’ve spent time playing
chess puzzles and my otherness has spent time stimulating failures in me
despite this. a lot of time on both of these! my rating has dropped on
average in p2p and risen in the puzzles some i’d suspect.

i totally smashed this game! partly luck, partly skill. i thought i might
consider reviewing it a little.

13/24 1413

# apk add gnuchess

1418 the apk add command ended up being a little more complicated,
involving ish crashing repeatedly, anyway

1444

how do i do fixed width font in gmail ipad app, or how else do i access
email?

1446

maybe i’ll go on website

1504

yayy fixed width

back to responsive app?

1505

1506

yayy fixed width in app. less responsive though.

1509

echo -e 'e4\nquit' | gnuchess -q --manual --graphic | tac | sed 's/ /. /g'
[note the board is mirrored from tac, a usual board would have the king and
queen swapped]

  ♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ ♘ ♖
  ♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙
  . . . . . . . .
  . . . ♙ . . . .
  . . . . . . . .
  . . . . . . . .
  ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟
  ♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ ♝ ♞ ♜

i was black. white opened with their queen’s pawn. i usually use a
well-known midgrade opening i forget the name of that i learned at a summer
camp.
noting: since they opened with their queen’s pawn, i get to free my bishop
and queen, as well as optionally pin a piece on their king


pawn forward 2

♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ ♘ ♖
♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙
. . . . . . . .
. . . ♙ . . . .
. . . . ♟ . . .
. . . . . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ . ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ ♝ ♞ ♜


pawn takes pawn

♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ ♘ ♖
♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . . ♙ . . .
. . . . . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ . ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ ♝ ♞ ♜


pawn forward 1

♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ ♘ ♖
♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . . ♙ . . .
. . . ♟ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ ♝ ♞ ♜


pawn takes pawn

♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ ♘ ♖
♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . ♙ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ ♝ ♞ ♜


bishop takes pawn

♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ ♘ ♖
♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . ♝ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ . ♞ ♜

this theoretically exchanges position in my benefit for pieces in theirs; i
spend my years trying to figure out how the heck to take advantage of it.
one of the last exchanges i had regarding this at that summer camp was
something like “why does this opening never work against you (the person
who taught it to me)” “because you never make use of it, karl”


white next brought their king’s knight out. (i wonder what they were
planning or thinking. it could have been a habit to threaten or guard a
missing pawn in the middle.)

♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ . ♖
♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙
. . . . . ♘ . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . ♝ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ . ♞ ♜


i brought out the opposing knight on my queen’s side. this threatens the
same central spaces their knight does, and also moves toward the more
difficult queen’s-side castle. i’m not sure what specifically my reasoning
was, but i’ve been exploring different things.

♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ . ♖
♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙
. . . . . ♘ . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
. . ♞ ♝ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ . ♝ ♛ ♚ . ♞ ♜

something i’ve been thinking of here is -  well


they brought out their opposite knight, so maybe this is just how they like
to open, or maybe it is some standard approach

♖ . ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ . ♖
♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙
. . ♘ . . ♘ . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
. . ♞ ♝ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ . ♝ ♛ ♚ . ♞ ♜


i then brought out my bishop. likely i was thinking of controlling the
board safely and moving toward opening that queen’s side castle

♖ . ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ . ♖
♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙
. . ♘ . . ♘ . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . ♝ . .
. . ♞ ♝ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ . . ♛ ♚ . ♞ ♜

i think i move the second bishop out farther to maybe try to be more
aggressive, remember that e-change at summer camp. when it’s on the other
queen’s/king’s side it threatens a pawn that can be used for a checkmate,
building what i’ve been calling initiative, giving the opponent fewer
options and yourself more


they moved their pawn forward 2 to threaten my overadvanced bishop

♖ . ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ . ♖
♙ ♙ ♙ . . ♙ ♙ ♙
. . ♘ . . ♘ . .
. . . . ♙ . . .
. . . . . ♝ . .
. . ♞ ♝ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ . . ♛ ♚ . ♞ ♜


and here’s where it started getting fancy, i moved my queen in front of my
king (very dangerous!) to pin their pawn onto their king, so they couldn’t
take the bishop, in an attempt to keep my positional and move investments.

♖ . ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ . ♖
♙ ♙ ♙ . . ♙ ♙ ♙
. . ♘ . . ♘ . .
. . . . ♙ . . .
. . . . . ♝ . .
. . ♞ ♝ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . ♛ ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜

i think once there are pins and things going on like this it starts taxing
the players’ memories in competition, to remember all the concerns and
dependencies.
- they can’t use their pawn how they usually expect, so they have to put
more cognition into things that involve it (it also pressure them to
prioritize moving their king or engaging my queen to threaten my bishop
again)
- i lose my bishop if i move my queen; all the places it threatens aren’t
actually threatened unless the value of moving there is more than a bishop,
which i’m likely to not think of
(i guess, maybe)

i likely tried this from the puzzles experience. i’m pretty vulnerable here
in my opinion, but i think the unexpectedness and memory loading can also
help me win sometimes.

the behavior is sadly a habit i have, where i try running a bigger risk to
see if it pans out later, kind of a little. intended only for play, not
serious situations.


they moved out their other bishop to defend the pawn. i forgot i could take
it. that’s likely why i risked the queen, cause it let me threaten putting
them in check, maybe

♖ . ♗ ♕ ♔ . . ♖
♙ ♙ ♙ . . ♙ ♙ ♙
. . ♘ ♗ . ♘ . .
. . . . ♙ . . .
. . . . . ♝ . .
. . ♞ ♝ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . ♛ ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜

oh no … they were already threatening the pawn with their knight. maybe
they were disincentivizing me from pinning their knight on their king with
my bishop?


i advanced my knight likely to threaten their bishop and the pawn by their
queen, dunno, but both of which were also in line with my scared bishop,
tensely relying on their king not moving which would unpin the pawn that
could take it

♖ . ♗ ♕ ♔ . . ♖
♙ ♙ ♙ . . ♙ ♙ ♙
. . ♘ ♗ . ♘ . .
. ♞ . . ♙ . . .
. . . . . ♝ . .
. . . ♝ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . ♛ ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜

noting my king is nicely freed by now to castle on the queen’s side too,
and there aren’t any pawns between where my rook would land and their queen
still is. maybe got more lucky in this game than skillful, unsure.

[mistake][separately my memories of this game are worsened further from the
mirroring]


they castled on their king’s side, away from my advanced knight,
threatening my bishop

♖ . ♗ ♕ . ♖ ♔ .
♙ ♙ ♙ . . ♙ ♙ ♙
. . ♘ ♗ . ♘ . .
. ♞ . . ♙ . . .
. . . . . ♝ . .
. . . ♝ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . ♛ ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜


i moved my bishop to a temporarily safer advancement, pinning their knight
on their queen.

♖ . ♗ ♕ . ♖ ♔ .
♙ ♙ ♙ . . ♙ ♙ ♙
. . ♘ ♗ . ♘ . .
. ♞ . . ♙ . ♝ .
. . . . . . . .
. . . ♝ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . ♛ ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜

i might be thinking here that i need to collect pressure near their king to
eventually checkmate them as well as build initiative, not sure. anyway it
pins their knight which reduces their board control for one move at least i
guess. often i have a habit of aggression in the hopes they get confused
like me, maybe. people repeat what works.

i recall i was pressuring their king.


they retreated their bishop to unpin their knight

♖ . ♗ ♕ . ♖ ♔ .
♙ ♙ ♙ . ♗ ♙ ♙ ♙
. . ♘ . . ♘ . .
. ♞ . . ♙ . ♝ .
. . . . . . . .
. . . ♝ . . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . ♛ ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜

i’m guessing this meant i still had the initiative i was seeking because
they responded to my move without gaining much position.


here i think my finger actually slipped, possibly dissociatively, and i
moved the queen forward one when i wasn’t planning to.

♖ . ♗ ♕ . ♖ ♔ .
♙ ♙ ♙ . ♗ ♙ ♙ ♙
. . ♘ . . ♘ . .
. ♞ . . ♙ . ♝ .
. . . . . . . .
. . . ♝ ♛ . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜

this guards the bishop. i think i would usually have moved it forward two
to threaten (and advertise this to the opponent) the checkmate pawn
diagonal from the king.

this surprise left me unbalanced and i was looking for how to regain more
advantage.

it’s so nice to review something with a dissociated confusion (i.e.
amnesia, [maybe it’s hard to store memories when you’re regaining footing])
in it! and we won! together! o_o :)


they advanced their pawn 1 to threaten and push my knight to move.

♖ . ♗ ♕ . ♖ ♔ .
. ♙ ♙ . ♗ ♙ ♙ ♙
♙ . ♘ . . ♘ . .
. ♞ . . ♙ . ♝ .
. . . . . . . .
. . . ♝ ♛ . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟
♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜

i might have felt a little excited here, as if it wasn’t enough of an
initiative press back for me to lose mine. i had three diagonal pieces
threatening near their king (if i get my queen defended on one of those
pawns it’s checkmate, it could do that in 2 moves despite my slip) and the
knight they were threatening was distant from them.


i used my queen’s side castle to threaten revealing with my bishop, my rook
against their queen. this meant my bishop could effectively make two moves
in a row if they couldn’t regain initiative rescuing their queen. [possible
mistake]

♖ . ♗ ♕ . ♖ ♔ .
. ♙ ♙ . ♗ ♙ ♙ ♙
♙ . ♘ . . ♘ . .
. ♞ . . ♙ . ♝ .
. . . . . . . .
. . . ♝ ♛ . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟
. . ♚ ♜ . . ♞ ♜

notably i am now threatening taking their queen by moving the bishop to put
them in check. this is another trick i learned from the puzzles.

i am now very strongly in the advantage, but it involved layering
approaches behind strong risks that can easily go poorly if one’s memory
falters (which mine —- ); because i am threatening both their queen and
their king and they are only threatening more minor pieces.

maybe i’d like to play through this game more. i don’t usually pull this
off and i think it’s because i run poor risks or lose track of them. maybe
i could compare it to a losing game and see what’s different or something …
[unsure :s some write mistake—-]


i wonder if my finger slip put them in unwarranted ease or something


so what happened is they moved their queen toward their king to protect it
from my check-reveal. this let me fork it with their rook with my risked
knight, and they then resigned the game in defeat, which let me realize how
much advantage i had before i lost it in further mistakes maybe ;S

♖ . ♗ . ♕ ♖ ♔ .
. ♙ ♙ . ♗ ♙ ♙ ♙
♙ . ♘ . . ♘ . .
. ♞ . . ♙ . ♝ .
. . . . . . . .
. . . ♝ ♛ . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟
. . ♚ ♜ . . ♞ ♜

♖ . ♗ . ♕ ♖ ♔ .
. ♙ ♞ . ♗ ♙ ♙ ♙
♙ . ♘ . . ♘ . .
. . . . ♙ . ♝ .
. . . . . . . .
. . . ♝ ♛ . . .
♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟
. . ♚ ♜ . . ♞ ♜

victory. my ranking was 1370 and theirs was 1686.

i’m thinking one thing maybe i did here was open multiple aggressive
avenues at once (not all of which i was aware of) and then stay flexible
about which i pursued as they responded. having them open meant that i had
multiple options for pressuring them, since i don’t know what they will do.

i guess when my finger slipped with my queen it left them unsure of what
avenues i was pursuing. if i had moved my queen all the way as i meant,
what usually happens is they immediately fortify their king to prevent
checkmate which would have made the reveal that trapped their queen via
their king no longer work that way. instead they worked to address the
other side of the board.

they may have seen something my slip could do that i didn’t, that they were
acting on.

it’s noticeable that my rook and knight were working together to limit
their queen. i don’t think imwas consciously aware of this at the time.

doing puzzles with the dissociativ—

anyway :)

i’m inhibited against reviewing my own behavior so this was awesome to post
:D it’s been many years since i’ve had a positive way to feed back around
things and improve them.
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