[ot][crazy][wrong] snippet

[Undiscussed Horrific Abuse, One Victim of Many]

---------- Forwarded message ---------

> My trauma was around covering up my own hurt for those who caused it. Just
> a mess of freakin weird pain. I partly work for them when I post.
>
>
> *What's your trauma*
>

eh something with a lot of power brainwashed me to mess my life and
communities up, for politics. I live as flashbacks to this.

*mistakes*
>

My mistake was sharing my legal name on the internet, and then trying to
continue to live a normal life after I was taken. Everything I did seemed
used against me. Now it's my habit to do this, I think enough time has
passed it can work out.

> bully
>
>
The only time a person "A" bullies a person "B" who is being kind to person
"A", is when person "A" is being coerced or misled to do so, although
person "B" could be brainwashed to stimulate that further.

So, there is not a lot of transparency around our intentions, unfortunately.

> *why are you sending*
>
> *who you*
>
> * were working for?*
>

I think I'm working for a right wing group that are trying to gain power by
supporting other groups with plans to protect them after the power is
gained, but they stay anonymous. It's a messy and potentially violent path
to get near a top.

The list was a hub for people like me to share technologies used to escape
them, so they seem to want power over it. Additionally, I was avoiding the
list, so they seemed to want to engage my potential behavior of using it.

But it's very hard for me to think about, due to the brainwashing. I'm very
confused. I might be describing delusions based on flashbacks, rather than
a complete reality.

I'll be forwarding this snippet to the list, to model transparency.


>
Thank you

>
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